Writing for MediaPlanet’s special December 2010 supplement for USA Today, entitled “Sexual and Reproductive Health”, Jill Smits quotes our own Carolyn Braddock on the topic of Menopause and Sexuality:
We’re proud to have been part of such a great publication, which you can view as a PDF by clicking HERE.
As aging Americans live and stay healthy longer, and with the surge of popular erectile dysfunction medications, today’s aging population is remaining sexually active for longer than previous generations. Roughly 45 percent of men and women in their 50s reported being sexually active; about one-third of men and women in their 60s; and 20 to 30 percent of men and women into their 70s and 80s.
Let my hair down, be natural, let the mischievous spirit out, and celebrate the wise woman that I am. Raise the flag….as I age I only get better, and sexual activity need NOT cease! I deserve to be slower, and have a deeper more relaxed enjoyment of sex, alone or with a partner. Bring on the Aloe Cadabra, the most magical natural, SMOOTH, and SILKY, JUICY lubricant ever. Bring on the vibrator, or those specially trained fingers who know what I like, and HOW I like it. Touch me all over. Ahhhhhhh. The excitement is building… coming… coming… COMING! I feel great and so relaxed. What a gift to give to me!
OK, I am waiting for my body and me to join together in a new phase of life. I am aging gracefully, I thought. Then, my secret….vaginal dryness and resulting low libido. I finding out all kinds of information especially how common this issue is. My body and me begin to dialogue. “Body tell me what is happening…down there.”
The body responds….”I do not feel safe. You have been pushing me to have sex when I do not want to. Sometimes I do not even feel acknowledged that I am there. You demand a lot of me…you keep asking me to hurry. Don’t you know that I have had natural changes in hormone levels that means that I am producing less lubrication? When I feel pressure from you, I shut down the systems. Yes, I become dry. I hope you will begin listening to me. Help me out here.
“Body, what do you want me to hear?”
The body responds…”I need you to learn more about me, so gather information about hormone replacement therapy OR NOT. When you exercise, how about exercising me, the vagina, the clitoris? Stock up on the magical and all natural personal lubricant, Aloe Cadabra, in all three scents: Natural Aloe, Tahitian Vanilla, and French Lavender. Let’s have some magic getting to know each other gently and playfully. BE PATIENT.” Let’s keep talking…..coffee or tea…some fine wine?
We are and have been under extreme pressure to conceive. After all, we are getting to that deadline in age. Each time we try to conceive, we both get nervous, and it just becomes an exercise in pushing the limit. Let’s try something else. Imagine all the cells in the body ready to receive. Scan your body. If there are some cells that are not ready to receive, simply ask them what they might need in order to receive. This may sound a bit crazy, but it does help to explore what the blocks are to conceiving. Listen carefully to the wonderful wisdom of the body. This is what is called a “full body response.” Then check out the images that may be coming up. Observe, notice, and gather information about those images. Do not try to fix or change them. Those images might just guide you into another image. Use some lubricant so you can take the time to explore those images….SLOWLY. Relax into the feeling of connection to your body, and to your partner’s body, and/or to the receiving of sperm to join with the egg in creation.
In the media we are constantly faced with ads that say “take this or take that pill” to help with bone health as we age. Do we hear about exercising, diet, or ways to “keep the juices flowing” to help the body remain fluid and in good working order? Do we celebrate the deepening of love and sexual expression in the elder years? After all, many of us have had wonderful years of good sexual experience, and we continue to do so. We are human beings who need tender touch. We have needs, are sensual, and yes, sexual. This is in fact a normal, and can be delightful part of lives in the elder years. In travels to Eastern cultures, we witness a celebration and an honoring of elder love with natural sexual expression. In the literature, it is suggested that in order to keep the organs in our body functioning in a healthy way, the juices must keep flowing….as in exercising the sexual organs to stay lubricated, and healthy.
Awakening to Life Over 50: Two views….Two beliefs
Two women were having a conversation about menopause. One woman was celebrating her 50th birthday, the other was 60. The 50 year old has tears when she said that life was over at 50, she was shriveling up. The other said that 60 was an incredible time to create, discover, and play. These two women had very different reactions to aging. They went on to talk about sex, and sexual expression. The 60 year old was obviously passionate about her new adventures in love making, with herself and with her partner. She experiments with several lubricants that keep her “juices flowing and the fun happening.” She plays with Aloe Cadabra and the three scents, which she calls “flavors.” Those are Natural Aloe, French Lavender and Tahitian Vanilla. She felt deeper within herself, who she has become, and how she expresses herself. She is having FUN. The 50 year old listened, and perhaps soon will begin a great and wonderful journey at 50. This conversation would not be complete without luscious desserts and good wine.
Moral of the story: Mental attitude is a key to great fun!
